It has been difficult even keeping up this blog. That does not mean that a lot has not happened with us. The long-distance relationship is a constant challenge and takes much energy persistently and consistently if it is to survive. We have continued to face the challenges while life changes around us. We have had to seek help and support to help us to understand the process and to keep finding strategies to keep us alive.
We have done well in many ways.
The time has come for us to shift things. The strain on us is too much- mentally, emotionally, psychologically and therefore manifesting physically.
I have made up my mind that we need to eliminate the distance between us if we are to survive. I am more than willing to do that. I have spent the last 6-8 months thinking about it and working on the decision. It has not been easy finding my way mentally through all that it means for me to put aside my life here (particularly my professional life) and go to be with Mike full-time. The dilemma was not about being with Mike or not being with Mike. That is a given that I have always wanted to be with him. The dilemma has been giving up my work here and the fear that I may not have that to come back to whenever and if ever we decide to return home.
Though things have not completely worked out with my plans to work online so that I can be anywhere and still survive professionally, I know I cannot wait any longer. I will go with faith that the universe will take care of things. ( I am not so sure I believe that, but at this point I am not sure what I have to believe in). Perhaps I can only believe in our love for each other. So I am prepared mentally to go and be with my husband.
Because of the damage that being apart has already done to the marriage I am hoping that we could still rely on the underlying love and commitment we have for each other. We have always been two people that are determined to make things right, that know what we want and will fight for it, and can weather any storm.
I am only praying now that we weather this one too and find the way to each other's heart. And that these two hearts no longer have to be apart.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
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