Before anyone asks ..... no it is not easy at all !!!!!
We are separated like this due to necessity only. If we had a choice we would be back together in a flash. We miss each other so very much and don't really know how long we can keep this up. What we do know though is that we will be together as soon as possible.
I am living in Canada as a temporary worker. Yes I have a good job but I keep myself living in a temporary style. I try hard not to put down roots here. I endure a lot to ensure that my life here feels temporary. I guess this is one way my mind works to keep me focussed. We communicate a lot !!! More than many who live together..... We support each other a lot too. We are not living as single people but as a married couple.
This blog is an attempt on one level to share our feelings and thoughts with each other (and with you). On another level it is another way for us to help ensure that this separation is used for the good and not wasted.
I hope you all enjoy our story as it evolves. Please feel free to comment. We are not recomending this lifestyle to others but know that many are in this position. If we can help a few along the way we will be well pleased.
Mike in Montreal, Canada
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Introduction- Marilyn
Why ‘Hearts Apart’.
Hearts Apart is about our journey apart. Due to unforeseen circumstances we are forced to live in separate countries temporarily. One of my friends calls ours a commuter marriage. We recognize that we have to do some special work to keep the marriage strong and to help it to grow despite the distance between us. We are continuously learning how to manage a long-distance relationship. Sharing our thoughts and experiences here helps us to do that. It is our project that we do together across the miles; another bond between us.
We have been living apart for the past eighteen months. That makes a marriage that is only three years old very fragile. There are two important things that must be present- a strong foundation and making sweet memories together frequently. A long-term plan must also be constantly in our sight. In addition, we must have big dreams and goals to hold on to.
We started the foundation before we got married; we took the time and made the effort to understand as much of each other as possible and we learned from the challenges that we faced bringing our different personalities and cultures together. We made promises to each other to always be aware of the relationship and share our thoughts and feelings. We outlined our commitment to each other. Sweet memories are easy for us to make as we have such fun together and both have a passion for the ocean. So we have "beach vacations" at least once a year for our anniversary. It is also true that whenever you live apart like this, the time that you have together is so precious that you make sure there are sweet memories to take away.
So here we are…..
Hearts Apart is about our journey apart. Due to unforeseen circumstances we are forced to live in separate countries temporarily. One of my friends calls ours a commuter marriage. We recognize that we have to do some special work to keep the marriage strong and to help it to grow despite the distance between us. We are continuously learning how to manage a long-distance relationship. Sharing our thoughts and experiences here helps us to do that. It is our project that we do together across the miles; another bond between us.
We have been living apart for the past eighteen months. That makes a marriage that is only three years old very fragile. There are two important things that must be present- a strong foundation and making sweet memories together frequently. A long-term plan must also be constantly in our sight. In addition, we must have big dreams and goals to hold on to.
We started the foundation before we got married; we took the time and made the effort to understand as much of each other as possible and we learned from the challenges that we faced bringing our different personalities and cultures together. We made promises to each other to always be aware of the relationship and share our thoughts and feelings. We outlined our commitment to each other. Sweet memories are easy for us to make as we have such fun together and both have a passion for the ocean. So we have "beach vacations" at least once a year for our anniversary. It is also true that whenever you live apart like this, the time that you have together is so precious that you make sure there are sweet memories to take away.
So here we are…..
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