Just a few more days.

Just a few more days….
And it will be my turn again to travel to be with Mike. This time we get to spend a longer time together, perhaps the longest we have managed since the marriage became a long-distance one. It would almost be like learning to live together again, and that could be a fun and exciting thing or it could be a real challenge. Knowing us, I would guess fun and exciting.

The other day my son had to be separated from his girlfriend. He was finding it very difficult being apart from her. “How do you and Mike do it?” he asked me. I replied, “I try to find many ways to remind myself that I can survive this. One thing I think about is people who have it much harder and yet are able to do it. So for this one I think about US soldiers in Iraq. They do not have the luxury of being able to get on a plane and visit their families when the need gets too painful; they don’t know how long they will be apart, nor when they will be able to see and touch their loved ones, nor for how long. If they can find the strength to cope, then surely I can”.

Mike's new hobby.

Being apart does not mean we don't share our lives. We work hard at keeping in close contact every day. We share our joys and upsets. As part of this we agreed that I should buy a car. Not just any car but a Jaguar. It is my new pet and it takes up all the spare time in my life right now. Time that otherwise could be spent in less productive ways. It is an older model that will take many months to bring up to standard. I have all summer to do that.
It has meant my budget has changed but in no way has it affected the money we save at home. This was crucial in our thinking. There is no point in me being here just to spend money!!!!! It is a tough balance sometimes but the sacrifices are well worth making. I have a new hobby and a new spring in my step.
When Marilyn arrives in Montreal next week I will be there to pick her up in the Jaguar. I know she will be happy that I am happy. We will have a really nice few weeks together that we need so much. The car will take second seat to that .......

Mike

We have each other

We don’t know how or if we will ever manage being apart for long periods of time. Parting never gets easier, but it is worth the time we spend together. Five days in Florida was all the time we had this time, and as always we sure made the most of it.

I was on a course for three days so I arrived on Tuesday, Mike joined me on Thursday evening, and we parted the following Tuesday in Fort Lauderdale airport, he to return to Canada and I journeyed back to Miami to catch my flight back home.

We were overjoyed to see each other Thursday after being separated for seven weeks. Just being together was enough. Getting a good night’s sleep was important to me as it is the only time I feel safe enough to sleep deeply. But we decided to make it into a fun-filled “vacation”. What seems like ordinary events to most people take on such joy when we do them together. Saturday we rode the bus and went to the mall. As I told him… he is one of the few men I know who enjoy strolling around a mall. For that I am grateful. Sunday was a day of relaxation at the beach. Monday we rode the water taxi for hours and strolled down Las Olas Boulevard, had cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory. Evenings we held each other tightly, contented at having created more memories to add to our bank to keep us going through the next separation.

When you only have short periods of time together like this, there is no time to be wasted on being angry with each other, or quarrelling over minor things. Some time is always spent on planning the next rendezvous so that we have something to look forward to. And to help us through the sad moments we remind ourselves that “we have each other”. We have also added to that phrase the fact that “it could have been worse”.

One of many anniversaries

We are finally together after almost three months. It is my turn to travel to Montreal to spend some time with Mike. Even though the temperature is below zero and the snow is piled up to the roofs, I am happy to be here.
Sometimes it is only when the crisis is over and there is emotional safety again that your mind and body can succumb to the recent stress and strain. Now I feel like I want to be allowed a little break down- to collapse and cry it out. The last few months have been hard. It takes a lot of emotional energy to not miss someone; to keep your spirits up and your attention out as you go along your daily routine. It is not always as easy as it appears to fill the time with activity so that your mind doesn't get too much idle time to feel the pain of lonliness. Therefore these intermittent visits are so very important to revive that energy and give each other strength to cope.
Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of the day we first set eyes on each other. Certainly a day of celebration. We had a very special dinner at a lovely Thai restaurant. Despite the cold and snow we kept our minds focused on how fortunate we were to meet that day and that we have travelled these five years together.
Over the next few days we will add memories to our bank. We will brave the cold as two bodies are warmer than one. It is these memories that will help us through our next separation.