Much has happened which we will not write about just yet. But we have been tested and I (Marilyn) have been facing the test. It has taken me on a spiritual journey (that is for another blog) and for now faith and trust in God will abound.
Until such time as hearts are together again........
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Sunday, February 28, 2010
No longer apart
It has been difficult even keeping up this blog. That does not mean that a lot has not happened with us. The long-distance relationship is a constant challenge and takes much energy persistently and consistently if it is to survive. We have continued to face the challenges while life changes around us. We have had to seek help and support to help us to understand the process and to keep finding strategies to keep us alive.
We have done well in many ways.
The time has come for us to shift things. The strain on us is too much- mentally, emotionally, psychologically and therefore manifesting physically.
I have made up my mind that we need to eliminate the distance between us if we are to survive. I am more than willing to do that. I have spent the last 6-8 months thinking about it and working on the decision. It has not been easy finding my way mentally through all that it means for me to put aside my life here (particularly my professional life) and go to be with Mike full-time. The dilemma was not about being with Mike or not being with Mike. That is a given that I have always wanted to be with him. The dilemma has been giving up my work here and the fear that I may not have that to come back to whenever and if ever we decide to return home.
Though things have not completely worked out with my plans to work online so that I can be anywhere and still survive professionally, I know I cannot wait any longer. I will go with faith that the universe will take care of things. ( I am not so sure I believe that, but at this point I am not sure what I have to believe in). Perhaps I can only believe in our love for each other. So I am prepared mentally to go and be with my husband.
Because of the damage that being apart has already done to the marriage I am hoping that we could still rely on the underlying love and commitment we have for each other. We have always been two people that are determined to make things right, that know what we want and will fight for it, and can weather any storm.
I am only praying now that we weather this one too and find the way to each other's heart. And that these two hearts no longer have to be apart.
We have done well in many ways.
The time has come for us to shift things. The strain on us is too much- mentally, emotionally, psychologically and therefore manifesting physically.
I have made up my mind that we need to eliminate the distance between us if we are to survive. I am more than willing to do that. I have spent the last 6-8 months thinking about it and working on the decision. It has not been easy finding my way mentally through all that it means for me to put aside my life here (particularly my professional life) and go to be with Mike full-time. The dilemma was not about being with Mike or not being with Mike. That is a given that I have always wanted to be with him. The dilemma has been giving up my work here and the fear that I may not have that to come back to whenever and if ever we decide to return home.
Though things have not completely worked out with my plans to work online so that I can be anywhere and still survive professionally, I know I cannot wait any longer. I will go with faith that the universe will take care of things. ( I am not so sure I believe that, but at this point I am not sure what I have to believe in). Perhaps I can only believe in our love for each other. So I am prepared mentally to go and be with my husband.
Because of the damage that being apart has already done to the marriage I am hoping that we could still rely on the underlying love and commitment we have for each other. We have always been two people that are determined to make things right, that know what we want and will fight for it, and can weather any storm.
I am only praying now that we weather this one too and find the way to each other's heart. And that these two hearts no longer have to be apart.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Holding on
It's been a while since Mike and I dedicated any time to our blog. Life has definitely got in the way. It takes so much mental and emotional energy to keep a long-distance relationship surviving, let alone thriving, that it leaves little for extras.
I wouldn't lie and say the marriage has not been facing some challenges. But we want to keep looking ahead and moving forward positively.
What I have learned through these last few months of being apart is that the most important thing is to be always sure that what you truly want is for the relationship to last forever; that must be unshakeable. And you do whatever you can to let the other be aware of that. No matter what it feels like in the moment.
So in those deep, dark moments when you want to run and hide and never have to deal with relationship "stuff" again, that's the most important time to pull out all the good memories and remind yourself of all the reasons you are in the relationship. And keep looking forward.
There are many other things that have come up between us these past few months. It's knowing that we want to be together that has counted. One thing is for sure, long-term, long-distance relationships is NOT a good idea. It is too much of a strain for any two human beings to cope with on a daily basis, especially when you are also dealing with careers and global economic insecurity, supporting young adult offspring and facing retirement.
It is time for us to start making plans to be together more permanently. We need to be with each other.
I wouldn't lie and say the marriage has not been facing some challenges. But we want to keep looking ahead and moving forward positively.
What I have learned through these last few months of being apart is that the most important thing is to be always sure that what you truly want is for the relationship to last forever; that must be unshakeable. And you do whatever you can to let the other be aware of that. No matter what it feels like in the moment.
So in those deep, dark moments when you want to run and hide and never have to deal with relationship "stuff" again, that's the most important time to pull out all the good memories and remind yourself of all the reasons you are in the relationship. And keep looking forward.
There are many other things that have come up between us these past few months. It's knowing that we want to be together that has counted. One thing is for sure, long-term, long-distance relationships is NOT a good idea. It is too much of a strain for any two human beings to cope with on a daily basis, especially when you are also dealing with careers and global economic insecurity, supporting young adult offspring and facing retirement.
It is time for us to start making plans to be together more permanently. We need to be with each other.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Celebrations
One of the hard things about being apart is that you do not get to celebrate all the important occasions together. It is not always possibel to be together for both birthdays, anniversaries, christmas etc. But this time I got to be here for Mike's birthday.
We didn't waste a minute of it - in fact we celebrated for more than a day. As usual we didn't do anything extravagant. As corny as it sounds, it is true that we are so grateful to just be together that walking around the mall is a thrill for us.
Not only was the chance to celebrate a birthday together deeply significant, but it also made us think about growing old and appreciate our present health and good fortune.
We agree to sit down and make a list of all the things we must do in the next five years.
We didn't waste a minute of it - in fact we celebrated for more than a day. As usual we didn't do anything extravagant. As corny as it sounds, it is true that we are so grateful to just be together that walking around the mall is a thrill for us.
Not only was the chance to celebrate a birthday together deeply significant, but it also made us think about growing old and appreciate our present health and good fortune.
We agree to sit down and make a list of all the things we must do in the next five years.
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